The next chapter is right around the corner...

So, can I say once again time flies?  Seriously, how is next week already September?  Looking back, I can't believe it has been almost a year since Chris and I found out I was pregnant.  In that time so many things have happened, but another big milestone is around the corner!  My 30th birthday! Oh gosh, am I really going to be 30?  I have always enjoyed my birthday, getting older does not really bother me.  However, turning thirty seems to be making me have mixed emotions.  I feel like at 30 I will officially be a real adult.  I know, I have been an adult for some time, but 30 makes it real!  It is crazy because it seems like I have spent many of my birthdays thinking about my future.  Things like getting my first job (I celebrated my 23rd birthday the first week of my first teaching job), getting married (I turned 27 a few months before getting married), having kids (I turned 29 right after finding out I was pregnant).  But now, in the weeks before my 30th birthday I can't help thinking about my little girl's future.  In the mere 3 1/2 months she has been part of this world she has brought such joy and enlightenment to my life.  But, I have to confess (although difficult), during my pregnancy I thought about whether I had made the right choice to become a mom.  Although I knew I loved my baby growing inside of me, I didn't have the indescribable connection many talk about having with their unborn child. I wondered if this feeling would ever come.  In the moments after childbirth I was expecting to be overcome with this feeling of a deep connection, but it wasn't there immediately.  I tried not to worry (I was still happy to meet my child).  Slowly, I began to open my heart to this new being. I stared at her beautiful eyes, ears, mouth, and nose.  I began talking to her and getting to know her.  I began to think and dream about her future. Slowly, our connection started to develop. Now, as I think about turning 30, I can only think about how right is feels to be a mom.  How right it feels to continue to see my daughter learn and grow. How right it feels to think about her future and our future as mother and daughter.  I am sadden to say goodbye to my twenties (many great things happened during this decade of my life, I'll reflect back on this later), but I am more than thrilled to say hello to my thirties.  I look forward continuing to learn and grow as a person, but I am most excited about continuing to learn and grow as a mother.

In a couple weeks I will reach that mighty ol' milestone of 30!  Wish me luck!